I Knew You by Name: The Search for My Lost Mother, by Peggy Barnes
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I Knew You by Name: The Search for My Lost Mother, by Peggy Barnes
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Peggy Barnes' recently unsealed birth certificate arrived just after she buried the woman who raised her. She discovered her entire life had been a lie. She was born at The Salvation Army Home for Unwed Mothers to a young woman from the back hills of Alabama--Miss Pauline Miller.Peggy says: "I'd always been told my birth parents were dead. At age sixty-five, the last thing I needed was another mother. But I wanted to find Pauline. If I could find out what happened to her, maybe I could answer some of the questions I had never understood about my own cracked-up life." During her long search, Peggy obtains diaries, letters and photographs that reveal Pauline's heartbreaking story. Peggy discovers much of her mother's life echoes her own. Here are their stories of: abandonment, addiction, estranged fathers, a truly evil stepmother, the churches that kicked them out and the churches that offered salvation. Chronicling their similar lives gives Peggy the courage to reveal her own hidden truths. Pauline's letters, written so long ago, teach Peggy to finally forgive herself. Deeply moving, yet laced with wit and humor, this is a daughter's love story to her mother.
I Knew You by Name: The Search for My Lost Mother, by Peggy Barnes - Amazon Sales Rank: #2170331 in Books
- Published on: 2015-06-19
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .39" w x 5.51" l, .48 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 168 pages
I Knew You by Name: The Search for My Lost Mother, by Peggy Barnes Review "Peggy Barnes has written a remarkable, wise, and generous memoir about her search for her birth mother, Pauline. It takes a gutsy and determined person to embark upon such a quest, armed with nothing but a name. It takes a truly gifted writer to tell the story with such warmth and wit. Her story is their story: a deeply moving portrait of two women, separated by circumstances but united through the power of words". - Stephanie Harrison, Author of Adaptation: From Short Story to Big Screen. "In lush Southern language laced with surprising wit, Peggy extrapolates from her unwed-mother's letters--saved by an unknown cousin in the proverbial dust-covered trunk--to venerate the woman who gave her birth, uncovering striking similarities to the life she herself has lived". -Nancy Pinard, Author of Shadow Dancing and Butterfly Soup A powerful memoir, two parallel stories that unravel simultaneously. The story of Peggy Barnes and her birth mother opens one's eyes to the plight of women in mid-twentieth-century North America. ----5-Star review from Readers' FavoriteA dramatic, atmospheric memoir about bearing the stigma of "unwed mother" in an earlier era. In the process of her quest, Peggy confronts her own failings as a mother and her latent alcoholism, a genetic marker possibly inherited from her birth father. A well written slice of social history, a woman's voyage of discovery, the memoir blends factual evidence with powerful emotional undertones. -----USReview of Books Peggy Barnes expertly weaves this poignant memoir. In Part One, the past and present are point and counterpoint, longing and fact, search and research. In Part Two, Ms. Barnes creates a new-sub-genre in memoir, penning a "What If?" section. Here, the reader shares in the possibilities of her mother's life through letters Peggy discovered in her sojourn. This is a jewel among memoirs. ----Rita Coleman Mystic Connections: Poems of Nature and Relationships.
From the Author After seven difficult years of research and writing I Knew You by Name, my unwed birth mother's story will finally be told. And mine. That's the scary part for memoir writers. The reading world will also have a peek at me.
About the Author Peggy Barnes worked as a freelance food and travel writer and restaurant critic. She holds an MFA in creative writing from Bennington College. Her award-winning short stories have been widely published in literary magazines. Excerpts from I Knew You by Name have been published in Halfway Down the Stairs, Foliate Oak and Gravel. Peggy lives in Dayton, Ohio with her husband and two Tibetan Terriers.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. "Where's my Mommy? Do you know my Mommy?" By Grady Harp Ohio author Peggy Barnes holds an MFA in creative writing from Bennington College. Though her employment has been worked as a freelance food and travel writer and restaurant critic, she comes to this fine book as a memoir and the power of the book is so rich that hopefully she will continue writing in the novel format. Though she has published many short stories, this is her debut book.There is now, and always has been, a keen interest in birth mothers versus adoptive mothers. Novels, films and plays have embraced the subject but this book by Peggy rings because it is her story. In her Prologue she introduces the circumstances that altered her life. `They said my parents were dead. They said I had big feet, that the special shoes cost too much with the Depression barely ended. They said I had no hair and no matter how much pink my new mother put on me, I looked like a boy. Adopting a two-year-old smack in the middle of the Big War was something they never expected to do. The best thing about me, they said, was-- I never, ever cried. My new daddy, George, was thirty, which everyone knew was way too old to conceive, so when the agency called and said, "Sorry, still no babies, but we've got this new kid," Margaret, who had been knitting booties for the last ten years, said, "We might as well take a look." In the viewing room, George snapped my first picture, dated December 23, 1941. The caption says, "So what?" and that tells you about the look on my face. How many times had I been fluffed up, dressed in that scratchy, starched dress, ready to rent? How many men holding a camera, after popping bright flashes, left with his frowning wife and never came back? I didn't know who birthed me, didn't know why I was standing in a scary room on my second Christmas. I would be told, on various occasions, I came from an orphanage, a series of foster homes, or Br'er Rabbit's cabbage patch. No point in asking why it took two years for someone to claim me. Dumb and ugly. What else? Then, when I was sixty-five, after my adoptive parents had died, the State of Alabama released my sealed birth record and I learned what they would not say. In the 1940s, it was okay to lie about your new kid being a bastard. But the part about not crying? Oh, that was true as anything, and after a series of what I call miracles I learned the reason why.'With that same power of writing Peggy offers her search for her birth mother, Pauline. Or as the summary shares, `Peggy Barnes' recently unsealed birth certificate arrived just after she buried the woman who raised her. She discovered her entire life had been a lie. She was born at The Salvation Army Home for Unwed Mothers to a young woman from the back hills of Alabama--Miss Pauline Miller. Peggy says: "I'd always been told my birth parents were dead. At age sixty-five, the last thing I needed was another mother. But I wanted to find Pauline. If I could find out what happened to her, maybe I could answer some of the questions I had never understood about my own cracked-up life." During her long search, Peggy obtains diaries, letters and photographs that reveal Pauline's heartbreaking story. Peggy discovers much of her mother's life echoes her own. Here are their stories of: abandonment, addiction, estranged fathers, a truly evil stepmother, the churches that kicked them out and the churches that offered salvation. Chronicling their similar lives gives Peggy the courage to reveal her own hidden truths. Pauline's letters, written so long ago, teach Peggy to finally forgive herself. Deeply moving, yet laced with wit and humor, this is a daughter's love story to her mother.'To review a book of this emotional power, one can only applaud. The story is extraordinary, all the more so because it is true. Peggy Barnes is a very fine writer and this book is one that everyone who has been on either side of the adoption process should read. No, make that EVERYONE should read. Highly Recommended. Grady Harp, September 15
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Tender, charming, witty portrayal of a daughter seeking her birth mother By Judith Lamers As a grandmother of 19 children, I have interacted with lots of little ones. I am particularly fond of the two year old stage of life and the remarkable vocabulary and thought provoking remarks they make. They say children are resilient and perhaps that is so to some extent, but as I read Peggy Barnes story, I couldn't help but feel the pain she endured throughout her childhood and adult life always wanting some kind of closure to the many questions that were unanswered for so long.Right from the start I was drawn into her story with a feeling of a mystery to be solved and not only was it intriguing, but witty as well.I actually forgot myself and where I was as I was so mesmerized by her story. It takes a person of great determination to continue such intricate research and a lady of humility to flesh out the story of her life.I feel anyone reading this memoir will appreciate the rewards and difficulty of adoption.Judith Lamers, Dayton, Ohio
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. With Knowledge Comes Closure and Acceptance By Marta Cheng If I was to characterize the memoir, I Knew You By Name: The Search for My Lost Mother, it would be laying bare the author’s soul because that’s exactly what the author does – and she does it with humility, honesty and even a sense of self-depracating humor, if such a thing is possible. The author knew she had been adopted as a small child and as she grew up, she had felt guilty for being unable to whole-heartedly love the mother who had raised her. The author’s guilt deepened as her adoptive mother became ill and she became her caregiver. Derogatory assumptions and references to African-Americans highlighted her adoptive mother’s Southern prejudices and rankled Peggy, especially since Dayton, Ohio was far removed from the Southern phobias she had had to endure as a child. The insecurities of childhood had led to bigger insecurities as an adult, manifesting themselves in the author’s struggle with alcohol and other demons. What is especially poignant about I Knew You By Name is that although Peggy Barnes went on to be a mother in her own right and a grandmother and hosted her family gatherings at her home, it nevertheless felt to me like the author was almost removed from her family – like an outsider looking in. With knowledge comes closure and as a reader who’s been truly moved by the author’s story, I can only hope that Peggy Barnes is able to find the closure and acceptance of herself that had eluded her for most of her life.
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