First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle
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First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle
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If you want to repair your marriage or build an enduring, fulfilling relationship, step away from the therapist, put down the magazine, and pick up this book. Laura Doyle’s marriage was in trouble. After five years, her husband had become distant and seemed checked out of their relationship, preferring watching TV to making love. There were frequent fights that ended with tense silences. Marriage counseling made their problems worse—each session seemed to reinforce the feeling that she and her husband were just too far apart.Desperate to avoid divorcing the man she loved, Laura tried something different: she started talking to happily married women, some for more than 15 years. What she discovered shocked her.Everything she had heard in marriage counseling was wrong. Laura realized there are basic truths that can help women maintain loving, intimate marriages, such as:The happiness of your relationship is up to you!What men want most of all is to be treated with respect. Treat your man with respect (even if you aren’t feeling it), and he will treat you with love and care.Your man wants to know he has your trust. Give it to him, and he’ll realize you are special . . . because you will be!After seeing her own marriage transform, Laura set out to help other women do the same. In First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors, you’ll learn Laura’s “Six Intimacy Skills,” which have been used by over 150,000 women who have turned their unhappy marriages into blissful unions.First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors will put you on the path to having the sweet, satisfying marriage you want with the man you love!
First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle - Amazon Sales Rank: #40777 in Books
- Brand: Doyle, Laura
- Published on: 2015-06-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .70" w x 6.00" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 248 pages
First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle Review "This upbeat, contemporary iteration of the author’s matrimony model (first seen in her 2001 bestseller The Surrendered Wife) may help women achieve higher levels of intimacy and stronger partnerships."—Publishers Weekly"Laura Doyle truly understands how the modern marriage works. Her modern approaches are eye-opening and marriage-saving!"—John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"Laura Doyle does it again with First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors, and this time, she’s not alone. The anecdotes from other women underline her lesson: women hold the key to improving our marriages."—Fawn Weaver, New York Times bestselling author of The Happy Wives Club
About the Author Laura Doyle is a New York Times bestselling author whose books have been translated into 16 languages and published in 27 countries. Over 50,000 women credit her with not only saving their relationships, but also showing them how to become desired, cherished, and adored for life.She is the founder of Laura Doyle Connect, a multi-national company that provides relationship coaching and programs for single women, girlfriends, and wives all over the world. She has appeared on CBS Evening News, Dateline NBC, The Today Show and The View. Articles about Laura have appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, The London Telegraph and The New Yorker. She is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post.Laura lives in Newport Beach, California, with her hilarious husband John Doyle, who has been dressing himself since before she was born.
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Most helpful customer reviews
40 of 40 people found the following review helpful. GET THIS BOOK NOW, LADIES! By KFlo I've never been so open in an Amazon review, but here goes...I've been married to my second husband for 2 1/2 very rocky years. We were both totally love struck while we dated. As soon as we got married, major problems began. Fighting, yelling, passive aggressiveness, selfishness, bitterness, resentment, insults... I could go on and on, but chances are if you're reading this you have a similar list. I've questioned where my sweet, thoughtful, attentive man went. Where's the guy I dated?!? Does he not love me? Did he ever??We tried marriage counseling and that didn't help. We read Love Languages, Venus/Mars, and several other of the most popular relationship books that had glowing reviews. Still no lasting improvement. Every day felt like a struggle. We were both exhausted, cranky, and I was getting depressed. There was lots of crying and contemplating divorce. I believed we had tried everything and that my husband simply would never treat me the way he had in the beginning.I'm not certain how I stumbled across First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors (although the catchy title did stand out), but I began to read the reviews. I will admit to scoffing at most of them. I was especially incredulous when I read the woman's review saying the book had greatly improved her marriage in one day... One day??! I wondered if the author had 30 of her friends to write up fake positive reviews.But I ordered the Kindle version on a curious whim. I had nothing left to lose but a miserable marriage and a jerk of a husband after all. Or so I thought. Throughout the entire first chapter, I actually laughed out loud and exclaimed, "This is bull$***," several times. Why is this author so excited to impart her "wisdom?" What kind of scam IS this? What she says is possible is just. not. possible. for my relationship. So let's say I was a bit skeptical :)Let me now assure you I'm a real person, with real kids, real laundry, real insecurities, real problems, and real emotions. Because you lovely, lovely women reading this may roll your eyes so hard you can see your brain stem when I get this next statement out...I had only read the first two skills the author writes about when I decided to experiment on my husband, who by the way is out of town so we were only talking via phone, and it worked. IT WORKED. Within five minutes of me following the book's suggestions (remember, I'm not even halfway through), I heard a tenderness in my husband's voice I haven't heard in months and months. I wondered if that was wishful thinking on my part. Nope! After we got off the phone, my husband sent a text to say he misses me. Whaaaa???? Misses me?? He misses me! If your relationship is in the poor condition mine has been in, you know that was momentous. Ahhhh, he misses me!Please do not interpret my review to mean the necessary changes will instantly "feel natural." You may have to white knuckle it for a bit, but... If you're like me, you've been white knuckling your relationship for a while so you can totally do it. The skills are simple. They are actually enjoyable. They make more sense than anything I've ever heard or read about marriage. Oh! And here's a plus: Your husband doesn't have to read it for it to be effective :)I think this is a fabulously empowering book for women with husbands/boyfriends who wonder why their men are irritable, uncaring, selfish, lazy, inattentive, and angry. "Why won't my husband stop looking at his phone and pay attention to me??" You CAN transform yourself and your relationship.P.S. To the wife who left the review saying her marriage improved in one day: I'm sorry I doubted you! Congrats and may you live happily ever after :)
34 of 34 people found the following review helpful. Results in One Day! By RedRose81 I loved The Surrendered Wife and over the last few years I tried to follow the practices in the book. However, my pride ("How come I have to be the one to change?") and bad advice (Don't ever Google marriage advice) kept getting in the way. Over the course of our five year marriage, my husband and I have become enemies; both of us lonely and resentful. While he isn't perfect, I just couldn't see how my controlling, negative, and obsessive behavior was turning my prince into a frog! I thought I made a huge mistake marrying him and kept wondering how such a romantic, caring man could turn into a sometimes verbally abusive monster? A man who once cherished the ground I walked on now couldn't stand to be near me? Last week we hit rock bottom and he said he wanted a divorce. Well I bought this book TODAY and read the whole thing and started implementing the advice right away. I can't tell you how fast it worked! I made sure I got my daily dose of self care and I'm so relaxed and so is he. I showed my appreciation and gave him respect, like I would to any other person. He offered to help take care of the baby (from a man who would fight tooth and nail if I asked him for help). I told him that I couldn't handle the finances anymore and I gave him all of the account information. My husband has been a spendaholic because of how miserable he has been in our marriage. He spends money when he's upset, lonely, angry, sad, etc. Well, this evening he explained to me that he's coming up with a budget! And when he asked me if we should switch cell phone plans, I said "whatever you think"! He was definitely confused but happy! And right now he's spooning me in bed fast asleep (he usually falls asleep on the couch). So in just one day, my husband helped with the baby, came up with a budget, appeared happy and relaxed, and was affectionate! If this much good has happened so soon, I'm so excited to see what happens in the next few weeks. I've never been this optimistic about my marriage!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful. Written by the other kinder, gentler Laura By WLP Yesterday I literally Googled "how to win back your husband dr. laura" and a few of Laura Doyle's articles popped up and then came across the Amazon link to this book. Based on the first couple of most helpful reviews here, I downloaded the Kindle version and finished it today. I have read the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (which clearly did not stick or register very well lol) and found similar principles related in here in the Kill book. However, they came along with some practical tips and were relayed in a WAY LESS ascerbic and judgy manner.I must say that I am a bit skeptical at the near (almost) immediate turnarounds described in these Amazon reviews and in this book. But since I have zero to lose at this point, I figured I will give it a whirl. It's been 5 weeks and a day since my husband sat me down and informed me he wanted a divorce (right after Christmas!). No putting me on notice and no last chance to fix it offered up. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, straight to divorce jail was the final of finals. We have been together 6 years and married less than 6 mos. We have a 5 y/o and a 3 m/o (yep, brand new baby). Of course, everyone brings their history, experience, personal filter, and baggage to the table to be dealt with after the honeymoon period has subsided. But I would categorize my husband as someone who falls into the "good guy" category Laura Doyle describes. He is good on paper and good in person and I have told many people over the years that I could not have gotten better if I had custom ordered him out of a catalog. No lie. He has not been the type go to bars, hang out all night, has a stable job, is a great dad, is good with his money, and has shown kindness and caring in action many times over (in retrospect). I just never really let him know fully and have shown him due appreciation for all the good things he has done. I know he loved me a whole lot at one point because I was recently looking over a ton of emails from our long distance dating period and it gave me a bit of hope that everything I always questioned (stupidly) as being true in my head and heart WAS there on his part and my personal insecurities messed that up. Here we are now. No bueno.I have finally come to realize in a recent CTJ moment that I need to look at how my own headtrash has contributed to the demise of our relationship to a seemingly no-rebound level FIRST. Especially since I can only control ME at this point. My thinking, my doing, my feelings. I have been seeing a therapist who has been more so like a life coach. Which is fine for right now. She's more so helping me deal with the fall-out factor vs. actually exploring the angle of saving my marriage (my ultimate desire). After reading this book, and looking in the mirror, I am definitely rethinking the traditional marriage counseling front.So, again, very recently I had a huge weight lifted mentally and emotionally for whatever reason. Right before I came upon this book I had been delving into a lot of Law of Attraction & 'be the change you want to see in the world' kind of stuff. Nothing too woo-woo, but there's been a definite shift. Plus, I have been eating a lot healthier and I feel like my equilibrium is so much better and there is more clarity now. Prior to I had been feeling soooooo much anger, angst, distrust, and lots of other fun stuff in that vein. I don't want to be a single mom coming up here, but while I am preparing for the worst I am hoping and trying for the best for sure. Let me tell you, it's NOT going to be easy. My husband is completely down and out when it comes to US. He's in financial and personal self-preservation mode. My lashing out here and there (understandably so, as one would imagine scared as hell for me and my 2 kids being a broken family), hasn't helped my cause much in his sympathies towards me. Much distrust, hate(?), stonewalling, paranoia, and projection from his end at this point. I am sleeping on the couch at the moment since the big D talk and am almost more than half sure there could be someone else as well. So he's going to be a TOUGH nut to crack here, people. We'll see how this all works going forward. I am definitely owning my piece of the pie here. I wish I could afford the coaching connected to the books 6 Intimacy Skills, but will see if there are other support outlets on FB or online or something because I am going to need it my Amazonian friends. I have till the summer 2016 here to see if true, fruitful changes abound in this marriage (my state has a 6 month cooling off period once someone with a family files and he's about to soon). Today I have already used the recommended terms I Hear You and Whatever You Think (Is Best...my twist) 3x each today during touchy verbal and text exchanges. I might even make the man some coffee going out the door tomorrow morning. :-) Wish me luck! Hopefully I can report back with good news in time.Update 2/10/16: So I have been putting 1 or 2 little somethings into action just about everyday. Small things so as not to overload and be annoying. Examples: When he goes to bed with my oldest son, saying "I love you both, goodnight", handing him a coffee to go in the AM, taking a few more of his dress shirts to the dry cleaners to be cleaned/pressed, saying as he is going out the door other times "Be careful/have a good day, I love you", texting him in the late-morning or post-lunch afternoon: Hope you are having a good morning, I love you - Hope Monday is treating you well, I love you - I appreciate you getting (oldest son) ready and out to the bus this morning. White still looks really good on you. Hope you're having a good day. I love you (actual examples). Then there is folding and putting away his laundry and offering him up my shredded chicken from the deli if he got hungry for dinner. All of this while mainly trying to stay out of his way and out of the house.I have to say that I have noticed him being nicer / more cordial / less defensive in manner. I can't say he's back in love with me by any stretch of the imagination. But being the "good guy" I know him at his core to be, he's at best, responding/acting out of guilt. Which, I guess, is not terrible. Better than arguing, right? Anyway, he's done a few nice things after several days of my starting my adjusted "Kill" behavior. Like WILLINGLY doing his part/sharing with morning/school prep duties (the one morning doing it ALL), offering me part of the dinner he cooked one evening, snowblowing the (long) drive last night (he has a truck and won't get stuck, I would with my little car), and offering to take a turn with the baby so I could sleep in the bed (it's either the couch or the bed in our house). So I guess things are not super great, but they are better than they have been over the last 10ish days. He just recently started to reply to my texts. Got a "No problem" to one of the most recent ones other day. Lol At the very least we can be cordial to each other while living under the same roof. Definitely not trying to force it here. I did not find a viable support group on FB so just went ahead and created my own. I will continue on and see where this all eventually gets us/me.Oh, and after 3 sessions within the last month thus far my therapist thinks I am handling things well and thinks I should touch base with her going forward if I happen to experience a crisis. I feel like I am generally on the right track now after much brain and heart swirling and twirling...for me and my kids at least.
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First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle
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First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle
First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life, by Laura Doyle
